Elite Eight Extravaganza Summary – Winning Word & Bracket revealed

Thanks to all who attended the 2011 War of the Words Elite Eight Extravaganza. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say it was the most well-received and well-attended word tournament gathering in the history of the universe.

Here’s a quick recap of what happened wordwise. Each match-up consisted of two volunteers from the audience participating in a game meant to highlight different attributes of the Elite Eight words. What fun!

THE ELITE EIGHT GAMES

eclectic vs. akimbo
The Game: Match Meriam-Webster

Players had 60 seconds to write down the Meriam-Webster definition of the word as best they could. Here’s what they wrote:

For ‘eclectic’ – “Diverse, containing many parts, variety, choice. A wide range.” Not too shabby.

For ‘akimbo’ – I’ll be honest. I lost the piece of paper that the contestant wrote the definition on, but believe you me, it was something else. You’ll just have to take my word for it. It’s one of those things that will go down in W.o.W. lore like Wilt Chamberlain’s 100 pt game that no one has footage of. It just happened and we all accept it.

‘akimbo’ advances to the Final Four.

usurp vs. boolean
The Game: Phocus on Phonetics

Players had to say the word with a variety of inflections and emotions (examples listed below)

like you’re trying to seduce the guy from Time Warner.
like you’re in the ocean, underwater. . and peeing.
like Davy Crockett is sitting next to you on the subway and just yesterday you made a bet with your best friend that you’d see Davy Crockett on the subway.
like you just heard the news that they decided to cancel the internet.
like your cat just won the lottery and you’re unsure of the exact rules and whether you’ll actually benefit.
like your mother just told you your real name is Karl.

‘Usurp’ prevailed primarily due to a controversy surrounding ‘boolean’ and whether or not it has two or three syllables. Video of the protester can be seen here. Warning! Contains language not suitable for children. This lady was pissed! While results of the game itself were inconclusive the dissension was such that ‘boolean’ was disqualified. ‘Usurp’ advances to the Final Four!

prophylactic vs. facsimile
The Game: Scavenger hunt

Players were given $5 and sent on a scavenger hunt to leave the bar and come back with something that best represented their word. Team prophylactic came back with (you guessed it) condoms. Team facsimile came back with (you guessed it). . . cupcakes??? ‘Prophylactic’ advances to the Final Four!

thwart vs. poop
The Game: QWERTY madness

Players had to type as many original sentences using the word in 60 seconds. Here’s what they typed:

For poop:

She pooped.
I have to poop.
Let’s poop!
There’s some poop!
Look who pooped.
He poops.
We poop together.
I can’t poop.
I want to poop!
How should I poop?
This is poop!
Poop on me!
What is poop?
Poop stinks.
Pooping is great.
Pooping can be fun!
Pooping is super important.

For thwart:

He was thwarted
He thwarted
Thwart thwarted poop
I will thwart you
Doctor evil thwarts
Curses he thwarted me once more
God darn poop thwart me again
Ten seconds and I shall be thwarted

Poop advances to the Final Four! It garnered more sentences and ‘thwart’ forgot to include periods, thereby technically compiling zero sentences.

THE FINAL FOUR

akimbo vs. prophylactic
The Game: Connotation contest

Players had to come up with their best compliment and insult using the word they were assigned. This one wasn’t really fair. The concept of contraception is ripe for compliments and put-downs. Arm positions on the other hand? Not so much. ‘Prophylactic’ cruises to the finals.

usurp vs. poop
The Game: Phone a friend

Players had to call someone on the phone and attempt to slip their word into the conversation in a manner that seemed natural to the person receiving the call. We had a hard time getting volunteers for this one. The commish actually had to step in and play. He called his mother and used the word ‘poop’ twice without her questioning him. It helped that holding the microphone up to the phone created an echo of sorts that made it sound as if the commish was calling from inside a bathroom. As a result, bringing up the subject of defecation wasn’t much of a stretch. The ‘usurp’ phone call, on the other hand. . . let’s just say that it didn’t go so well. I’m pretty sure the contestant got in a fight with his father and they still be unresolved. It was awkward. ‘Poop’ advances to the finals!

The Championship Match

poop vs. prophylactic
The Game: Dictionary Relay

The Finals. Only one way to decide this – Relay Race! Two teams of three represented each word. Each person needed the find the word in the dictionary, receive verification from the commish that the word was found, close the dictionary, pass the dictionary to the next person on the team, find the word in the dictionary, etc. The team that could complete the relay fastest would determine the 2001 Grand Champion. Team prophylactic led things off and posted a time of 57 seconds. Solid time. Team poop knew what they had to do and off they went. In a stroke of luck that can only be interpreted as fate shining down, the word ‘poop’ happened to be the last word listed on the page it was on, resulting in it being displayed in the upper right corner of the page, making it much easier to find. Team poop completed the relay in 35 seconds. It wasn’t even close. POOP WINS!

And there you have it. Score one for the potty mouths of the world. What can I say? It was just ‘poop’s night. ‘Poop’ now joins the exclusive fraternity of past W.o.W. winners; ‘bulbous‘ (2008), ‘tutelage‘ (2009), & ‘stupefy‘ (2010).

THE WINNING BRACKET

Congrats to gk (Garrett Knudsen) who wins with a total score of 113 pts. He correctly tabbed ‘poop’ as the tourney winner and also correctly predicted ‘thwart’, ‘boolean’, ‘akimbo’, & ‘poop’ in the Elite Eight. Those are some hot picks worth a cool $100 in the form of an over-sized check!! gk needs to reach out to me and let me know the address to which the check should be sent. With 170 total brackets submitted this year I think the top 20 scoring brackets deserve some ink. Job well done. You’ll all be considered major contenders next year.

1. gk – 113 pts
2. Mae Lin Gould – 110
3. Mary H. – 103
4. Mike Blatchley – 100
5. Marcus Glen Frys – 97
6. Katie Lewis – 94
7. SuzanneA – 90
8. angie z. – 90
9. Emerald Garvey – 90
10. Derick Lyngholm – 80
11. Andrew M. – 77
12. Natalie L. – 71
13. erin tobin – 68
14. Maggie Morris – 68
15. mike n. – 63
16. Susan Farris – 61
17. Binh Nguyen – 61
18. John Foelster – 60
19. Nils d’Aulaire – 60
20. Aaron Crozier – 58

Big thanks to all who submitted a bracket. I hope this tournament added a bit of absurdity to your day and allowed you the opportunity to cheer for something you never would have considered cheering for. We’ll be back next year with new words and an improved tournament. In the meantime, if you come across a word you think has what it takes to be a W.o.W. contender please email it to me (war.of.the.words.tournament@gmail.com) or post it on our facebook wall. We’ll use it (or tell you why we won’t)!

Remember, not all words are equal.

~the commish

http://war-of-the-words.org/

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Congrats to ‘poop’, the 2011 W.o.W. Grand Champion!

‘poop’ now joins the exclusive fraternity of former winners ‘bulbous’ (2008), ‘tutelage’ (2009), and ‘stupefy’ (2010).

And we have a Winner!!

Details of how the final games were decided are forthcoming as our pics and video from last night’s ELITE EIGHT EXTRAVAGANZA.

Thanks to all who attended. It was a magical evening.

The 2011 War of the Words Final Four Extravaganza!

And then there were 8.  And the 8 were awesome.

akimbo

boolean

eclectic

facsimile

poop

prophylactic

thwart

usurp

The rest of the tournament action will all take place this Thursday, Oct. 6th, @ 7:00 pm at the 2011 War of the Words Final Four Extravaganza at Fontana’s.

We’ll shrink the Elite Eight down to the Final Four and do it again to get the the Championship Game and one more time to crown the W.o.W. Grand Champion, aka the best word of the year.  And remember, YOU have a say in how it all pans out. 

Tell us you’re coming on our Facebook event page. If you’re already coming bring a friend who enjoys saying and reading words.  If you’re not in NYC and can’t make it, don’t worry, we’ll post live updates on the facebook wall as well as right here so you’ll be able to follow the action.  However it might be a good idea to phone up that crazy aunt you have that lives in the city and tell her to come and cheer for your words.  If you do live in NYC this is no excuse not to come.  Come and show the W.o.W. team your support why dontcha?

Besides the hot word on word action you’ll be able to — listen to the hilarious commentary from our word “experts”
-visit the betting booth where you can fill out an blank Elite 8 bracket. If your bracket sucks here’s your chance to redeem yourself and win some cash.

-wish the Commish a Happy Birthday!
-enjoy the big-boned beats from DJ Smokey

Updated leaderboard in the post below.  Katie Lewis had a stellar weekend and rocketed to the top spot with 62 pts. She correctly picked 6 of final 8 words. Those are some great picks!  Her spot at the top is by no means safe, however.  An array of skilled word pickers nip at her heels.

Katie Lewis - 62 pts (cheering for ‘prophylactic’)
¡Hoversten! - 57 pts (big ‘boolean’ fan)
gk (knudsen) - 57 pts (needs ‘poop’ to prevail)
Laura Henry - 56 pts (stuck at 56. ‘discombobulate’ losing ended her run)
Adam Wald - 56 pts (stuck at 56. ‘discombobulate’ broke his heart)
mike n. - 55 pts (has ‘akimbo’ vs. ‘thwart’ in the finals)
Gab S. - 55 pts (her hopes all ride on ‘thwart’)
eric Nelson - 54 pts (‘boolean’ or bust)
Jeff Malamy - 54 pts (another ‘boolean’ backer)
Susan Farris - 53 pts (needs ‘usurp’ to do its thing)
Binh Nguyen - 53 pts (‘usurp’ all the way)
Carrie Estebo - 53 pts (stuck at 53. ‘smithereens’ didn’t come through)
Andrew M. - 53 pts (loves himself some ‘poop’)

If you don’t see your name above it doesn’t mean that you’re out of the running to win the $100 over-sized check grand prize.  If any of the words remaining are in your Final Four then there are still points out there for the taking.

“So you’re telling me there’s a chance.”  Yes.  Yes I am.  .  .  Unless you’re janiejaner and you’re stuck at 15 pts because you had ‘skank’ going all the way.  Better luck next year.

Hope to see you on Thursday.

~ the commish

Your Elite 8 Leaderboard

Click below for the pdf

Oct 2nd Leaderboard

Rank Predictor Score Predicted Winner Completed
1 Katie Lewis  62 (5) (5) behoove 9/13/2011 12:54pm
2 ¡Hoversten!  57 (3) (3) smithereens 9/12/2011 8:10pm
3 gk  57 (9) (9) poop 9/15/2011 11:18am
4 Laura Henry  56 (12) (12) kerfuffle 9/10/2011 1:06pm
5 Adam Wald  56 (3) (3) flummox 9/20/2011 8:47am
6 mike  55 (2) (2) thwart 9/16/2011 7:18am
7 Gab  55 (5) (5) behoove 9/16/2011 7:38am
8 eric Nelson  54 (1) (1) boolean 9/14/2011 11:19pm
9 Jeff Malamy  54 (12) (12) kerfuffle 9/22/2011 7:28am
10 Susan Farris  53 (2) (2) discombobulate 9/10/2011 3:38pm
11 Binh Nguyen  53 (2) (2) usurp 9/15/2011 12:48pm
12 Carrie Estebo  53 (4) (4) dilapidated 9/17/2011 7:57pm
13 Andrew  53 (12) (12) diarrhea 9/21/2011 3:06pm
14 erin tobin  52 (2) (2) akimbo 9/9/2011 1:14pm
15 Rusty Nash  52 (5) (5) nymph 9/20/2011 6:30pm
16 Tom Wnekiewicz  51 (4) (4) bazooka 9/14/2011 8:33pm
17 Tom Mangan  50 (1) (1) squelch 9/13/2011 6:58pm
18 Matt Johnson  50 (11) (11) haberdasher 9/15/2011 11:07am
19 brian benz  50 (2) (2) akimbo 9/21/2011 10:40am
20 Jude Rosenstock  49 (4) (4) bazooka 9/9/2011 10:49am
21 Heather Arouh  49 (2) (2) discombobulate 9/10/2011 5:29pm
22 Art  49 (2) (2) thwart 9/22/2011 6:54am
23 Derick Lyngholm  48 (3) (3) flummox 9/10/2011 8:07am
24 J Scott  48 (5) (5) behoove 9/14/2011 9:44pm
25 Susan  48 (12) (12) kerfuffle 9/22/2011 6:01am
26 Serge Bachtin  47 (8) (8) succotash 9/13/2011 1:29pm
27 Natalie  47 (2) (2) thwart 9/13/2011 2:34pm
28 Richard Jones  47 (2) (2) usurp 9/13/2011 7:56pm
29 maryjmary  47 (3) (3) smithereens 9/15/2011 5:50pm
30 Mike O’Brien  47 (9) (9) whittle 9/19/2011 10:21am
31 Michael Norseng  47 (2) (2) thwart 9/21/2011 2:56pm
32 Mae Lin Gould  46 (9) (9) poop 9/11/2011 11:26pm
33 Bick McSwiney  46 (1) (1) myriad 9/12/2011 3:12pm
34 Rich von Schmidt-Pauli  46 (2) (2) discombobulate 9/14/2011 7:26pm
35 Robb Bader  46 (1) (1) myriad 9/15/2011 8:14am
36 Michael deCastro  45 (2) (2) discombobulate 9/10/2011 2:17pm
37 Kelcey ‘Periphrastic’ Stratton  45 (3) (3) flummox 9/12/2011 7:41pm
38 Chris Ferraiolo  45 (5) (5) behoove 9/16/2011 10:57am
39 Mikey  45 (1) (1) boolean 9/19/2011 4:14pm
40 Nora  45 (5) (5) eclectic 9/21/2011 8:38pm
41 John Foelster  44 (2) (2) usurp 9/10/2011 11:04pm
42 Courtney Brennan  44 (2) (2) akimbo 9/13/2011 11:45am
43 Keith G.  44 (2) (2) akimbo 9/13/2011 12:13pm
44 Joe  44 (7) (7) peripheral 9/15/2011 6:20am
45 yoshi stone  44 (12) (12) teat 9/20/2011 2:24pm
46 Felicity Rose  44 (3) (3) flummox 9/21/2011 11:35am
47 Mike Blatchley  44 (9) (9) poop 9/22/2011 6:07am
48 Dianna Lyngholm  43 (15) (15) mustachioed 9/10/2011 8:29am
49 Erik Lillquist  43 (4) (4) dilapidated 9/12/2011 8:01pm
50 Thomas Eyre  43 (3) (3) smithereens 9/21/2011 8:51pm
51 Aaron Crozier  42 (4) (4) crux 9/10/2011 1:32pm
52 Steve Sorensen  42 (1) (1) boolean 9/13/2011 12:27pm
53 Tonya Pettigrew Kaushik  42 (5) (5) eclectic 9/19/2011 6:19pm
54 Emma MH  42 (2) (2) discombobulate 9/20/2011 8:46am
55 Karen Platt  42 (2) (2) discombobulate 9/21/2011 12:02pm
56 Jackie Jones  42 (1) (1) squelch 9/21/2011 2:30pm
57 Steve Grimes  41 (13) (13) perfunctory 9/20/2011 11:14am
58 Marcus Glen Frys  41 (9) (9) poop 9/22/2011 7:03am
59 Odin  40 (2) (2) discombobulate 9/11/2011 7:19pm
60 Ben Dohmen  40 (2) (2) usurp 9/21/2011 6:39pm
61 Mary  39 (9) (9) poop 9/21/2011 1:37pm
62 Laurin Paradise  39 (3) (3) flummox 9/22/2011 5:24am
63 Ben Holmes  38 (2) (2) thwart 9/13/2011 8:10am
64 Russell Horton  37 (1) (1) paraphernalia 9/13/2011 4:58pm
65 Scott Froseth  37 (12) (12) teat 9/15/2011 8:37pm
66 mandalyn  37 (2) (2) discombobulate 9/18/2011 11:17am
67 billdove5  37 (14) (14) genuflect 9/20/2011 8:01am
68 Andrea Nash  37 (1) (1) boolean 9/22/2011 4:04am
69 Kyle Nichols  36 (5) (5) behoove 9/11/2011 4:53am
70 Orion Montoya  36 (16) (16) nettlesome 9/13/2011 2:12pm
71 Alyson  36 (12) (12) kerfuffle 9/14/2011 6:12am
72 Cate  36 (15) (15) mustachioed 9/15/2011 1:41pm
73 Nils d’Aulaire  36 (12) (12) kerfuffle 9/19/2011 9:55am
74 Amy Gilstein  36 (13) (13) spelunker 9/20/2011 8:27am
75 plattetude  36 (5) (5) nymph 9/20/2011 10:39am
76 Michelle  36 (12) (12) kerfuffle 9/21/2011 1:15pm
77 Jennifer Rotner  36 (5) (5) eclectic 9/21/2011 1:34pm
78 Jack Lewis  36 (9) (9) marauder 9/22/2011 6:06am
79 Maggie Morris  36 (8) (8) hippopotamus 9/22/2011 7:15am
80 Dani Yannece  35 (11) (11) haberdasher 9/11/2011 2:30pm
81 Barak Poker  35 (10) (10) opus 9/12/2011 11:50am
82 michelle  35 (2) (2) discombobulate 9/14/2011 3:02am
83 Bob West  35 (2) (2) discombobulate 9/14/2011 8:02pm
84 Jessica Lerman  35 (3) (3) smithereens 9/15/2011 6:59pm
85 Jackie Stewart  35 (16) (16) nettlesome 9/16/2011 1:27pm
86 Kzaynard  35 (11) (11) haberdasher 9/19/2011 7:04am
87 SuzanneA  34 (9) (9) poop 9/9/2011 1:07pm
88 Sara Tambascio  34 (12) (12) kerfuffle 9/14/2011 10:59am
89 angie  34 (9) (9) poop 9/15/2011 5:08pm
90 Luke DesJarlais  34 (13) (13) spelunker 9/18/2011 10:49am
91 Erin Roof  34 (5) (5) eclectic 9/18/2011 11:46am
92 Garrett Markley  34 (3) (3) smithereens 9/20/2011 8:18am
93 Emerald Garvey  34 (9) (9) poop 9/21/2011 4:35pm
94 Riff Raff  33 (4) (4) bazooka 9/12/2011 3:44pm
95 nic luns  33 (8) (8) skank 9/21/2011 11:17am
96 Matt Stroup  33 (9) (9) esophagus 9/22/2011 6:29am
97 bbp3  32 (12) (12) kerfuffle 9/11/2011 4:43pm
98 Tim Parrott  32 (5) (5) behoove 9/12/2011 6:39pm
99 Esperluette  32 (2) (2) discombobulate 9/13/2011 11:15am
100 Fritinancy  32 (2) (2) akimbo 9/13/2011 6:08pm
101 Christopher Nichols  32 (1) (1) boolean 9/14/2011 6:44pm
102 dana wilkins  32 (2) (2) discombobulate 9/19/2011 4:28pm
103 Kathleen Nash  32 (3) (3) facsimile 9/21/2011 6:49pm
104 John Hook  32 (1) (1) boolean 9/22/2011 8:53am
105 dan  31 (6) (6) albeit 9/13/2011 5:26am
106 adam Wilkins  31 (8) (8) ensconced 9/20/2011 8:33am
107 Becky  30 (9) (9) esophagus 9/9/2011 3:33pm
108 stephanie  30 (10) (10) calisthenics 9/12/2011 6:41am
109 Tony Purdom  30 (12) (12) kerfuffle 9/19/2011 12:18pm
110 Stina Zeroth  30 (13) (13) bequeath 9/19/2011 3:08pm
111 Heather Brinkerhoff Burdsal  30 (12) (12) kerfuffle 9/20/2011 1:16pm
112 Cory Ness  30 (12) (12) kerfuffle 9/21/2011 6:55pm
113 John  29 (14) (14) genuflect 9/9/2011 12:44pm
114 BA  29 (16) (16) slab 9/13/2011 1:08pm
115 Mindy Kinsey  29 (12) (12) kerfuffle 9/13/2011 1:53pm
116 Bindu  29 [not finished] 9/16/2011 6:20am
117 Bee Sorensen  29 (8) (8) succotash 9/16/2011 4:29pm
118 nat roth  29 (10) (10) wrought 9/21/2011 9:16pm
119 Saul Epstein  29 (2) (2) discombobulate 9/22/2011 6:55am
120 sprite  29 (15) (15) mustachioed 9/22/2011 8:49am
121 Beth Staples  28 (6) (6) squeamish 9/12/2011 11:42am
122 Bana  28 [not finished] 9/19/2011 6:32pm
123 Stephen Kyriacou  28 (3) (3) smithereens 9/21/2011 9:42pm
124 Susannah  27 (2) (2) akimbo 9/15/2011 7:34am
125 CJ Sorensen  27 (1) (1) boolean 9/16/2011 7:21pm
126 cate acer  27 (2) (2) thwart 9/21/2011 10:22am
127 Andy Jacobson  26 (12) (12) kerfuffle 9/11/2011 9:44pm
128 Dan Reiners  26 (15) (15) mustachioed 9/13/2011 8:13am
129 Tal Bar-Zemer  26 [not finished] 9/13/2011 2:53pm
130 Pedro Penteado  26 (12) (12) diarrhea 9/14/2011 9:30pm
131 Sarah Dime  26 (7) (7) peripheral 9/16/2011 5:40pm
132 tara mctigue  25 (11) (11) haberdasher 9/11/2011 1:24pm
133 Jack Kinsey  25 (10) (10) clandestine 9/16/2011 6:05pm
134 Michael Bennett Cohn  25 (10) (10) opus 9/20/2011 8:39am
135 Kate  24 (3) (3) flummox 9/22/2011 12:19am
136 deb  23 (13) (13) spelunker 9/13/2011 4:34pm
137 marlene  22 (16) (16) dawdle 9/12/2011 7:08am
138 Mandy B  22 (6) (6) albeit 9/19/2011 4:45pm
139 Sheila  21 (11) (11) piddly 9/11/2011 11:59am
140 jenny  21 (8) (8) hippopotamus 9/12/2011 7:05pm
141 Adam Lamparske  21 (15) (15) mustachioed 9/14/2011 7:20pm
142 Felixworks  21 (14) (14) genuflect 9/18/2011 12:02am
143 Kayla Blatchley  20 (16) (16) slab 9/19/2011 12:02pm
144 Dana  19 (12) (12) kerfuffle 9/9/2011 2:20pm
145 Yeem  18 [not finished] 9/12/2011 10:52am
146 Mikael Awake  18 [not finished] 9/20/2011 11:40am
147 Clint Schmidt  17 (11) (11) haberdasher 9/20/2011 5:07pm
148 Anna Perricci  17 (10) (10) wrought 9/21/2011 8:58pm
149 james  16 [not finished] 9/12/2011 11:06pm
150 janiejaner  15 (8) (8) skank 9/13/2011 10:49am
151 The Oracle of Orthography  0 [not finished] 9/9/2011 12:15pm
152 Doug  0 [not finished] 9/10/2011 10:06pm
153 c s  0 [not finished] 9/13/2011 6:33am
154 Emily Kaplan  0 [not finished] 9/13/2011 12:30pm
155 Anthony Cinquepalmi  0 [not finished] 9/14/2011 5:38pm
156 elizabeth  0 [not finished] 9/19/2011 2:36pm
157 Sean Wolfson  0 [not finished] 9/21/2011 11:43am
158 aimee  0 [not finished] 9/21/2011 1:30pm
159 Jason Browning  0 [not finished] 9/22/2011 8:17am
160 The Vicar  82 (2) (2) usurp TOO LATE
161 Karen Tang  64 [not finished] TOO LATE
162 Jessica Atcheson  52 (11) (11) haberdasher TOO LATE
163 Brianne Hughes  49 (3) (3) smithereens TOO LATE
164 Ann  48 (4) (4) bazooka TOO LATE
165 Jessica McLaughlin  38 [not finished] TOO LATE
166 Talix  34 (12) (12) kerfuffle TOO LATE
167 Neal Fitzsimmons  31 (15) (15) mustachioed TOO LATE
168 M. Catchpole  26 (8) (8) hippopotamus TOO LATE
169 Eric  10 [not finished] TOO LATE
170 Joseph Maffey  8 [not finished] TOO LATE

Congrats to ‘poop, ‘akimbo’, ‘boolean’, & ‘facsimile’ who all advance to the Elite 8.  They compete for the right to advance to the final 4 at the W.o.W. Final 4 Live Extravaganza this Thursday.  Please do come!

http://tinyurl.com/69kcudd

It’s ‘facsimile’ over ‘discombobulate’ in a shocker!

discombobulate total score = 48

facsimile total score = 48.5

facsimile

Literal definition: 6.5
Implied definition: 2
Versatility: 4
Frequency of usage: 4
Degree of positive/negative connotation: 4
Phonetic punch: 10
Originality of alphabetic arrangement: 8.5
Overall W.o.W. Factor: 9.5

facsimile

Whoever came up with the notion that this should be called ‘fax’ is officially on my shit list.  Probably the same guy who calls details ‘deets’, happenings ‘haps’, and electronic mail ‘email’.  What a dick.  On the flip side, whoever decided to call it a facsimile in the first place deserves some sort of award like a large golden ball or something.  If it were up to me I would have ended up calling it a paper phone or a word shooter and our lives would be that much more terrible.

discombobulate

Literal definition: 9
Implied definition: 4
Versatility: 6.5
Frequency of usage: 5
Degree of positive/negative connotation: 7
Phonetic punch: 10
Originality of alphabetic arrangement: 6.5
Overall W.o.W. Factor: 0

discombobulate

A word that does what it means when you try to say it.  Lesser men have gotten lost 2 syllables in and found themselves at the wrong end of a ‘discombillmeearly’, continually walking into the corner of a room like a video game character being controlled by a 3-year-old.  If you and your tongue can make your way through this monster unscathed the more power to you.  Now your final hurdle is addressing the questions of why you didn’t just use the word ‘confuse’ and why you think you’re so smart.

Our final Sweet Sixteen matchup.  Winner gets the final spot in the Elite 8 ‘discombobulate vs. ‘ facsimile’

‘boolean’ advances over ‘behoove’

boolean total score = 56

behoove total score = 52

behoove

Literal definition: 9
Implied definition: 3
Versatility: 4
Frequency of usage: 6
Degree of positive/negative connotation: 4
Phonetic punch: 9
Originality of alphabetic arrangement: 9
Overall W.o.W. Factor: 8

behoove

Fact: Never been uttered without the intention of trying to be a smart ass. Fact: To this day never been used with the word ‘bee hive’ in a sentence. Give it a shot. Make history. The rest of us will be right here, staring at these glowing screens like a bunch of idiots.

boolean

Literal definition: 9
Implied definition: 10
Versatility: 9.5
Frequency of usage: 5
Degree of positive/negative connotation: 4
Phonetic punch: 10
Originality of alphabetic arrangement: 8.5
Overall W.o.W. Factor: 0

boolean

A real heavy-hitter across the board. Add a boolean to anything and all the sudden you get almost anything. The magic fairy dust of words. Impossible to say without sounding like you almost forgot what you were going to say half way through. Has quite the tumultuous relationship with certain variations of both chicken broth (bouillon) and gold (bullion).

Battle of the ‘b’s: ‘boolean’  vs. ‘ behoove’

In another tightly contested affair ‘akimbo’ squeaks by ‘smithereens’.

akimbo total score = 54

smithereens total score = 53.5

smithereens

Literal definition: 10
Implied definition: 6
Versatility: 6.5
Frequency of usage: 4
Degree of positive/negative connotation: 9.5
Phonetic punch: 9
Originality of alphabetic arrangement: 7.5
Overall W.o.W. Factor: 1

 

 

smithereens

A shame that this ear-pleaser isn’t utilized more often. Fact of the matter is, if you happen to catch this word being uttered in a nearby conversation you best slide your chair in that direction because something catastrophic is being discussed as ‘smithereens’ isn’t a word used anywhere near ‘loofah brush’, ‘nap’, or ‘slide rule’.

akimbo

Literal definition: 5.5
Implied definition: 6
Versatility: 6.5
Frequency of usage: 6.5
Degree of positive/negative connotation: 8
Phonetic punch: 9.5
Originality of alphabetic arrangement: 9
Overall W.o.W. Factor: 9